Wow! You must be thinking THREE blog posts in 1 day! This girl has way too much time on her hands. It's funny, after 7 months of this calling I'm finally starting to feel like it's OK to do normal everyday things like cleaning my house three days in a row, making wheat bread, blogging, and not feel guilty for the million other things that I feel like I should be doing. I always feel like there is more I should be doing to help and service the sisters in our ward. I know that no matter how much time and effort I put in, there will always be more I can do. I've been in my own little world the last 7 months and probably will be for as long as I have this calling. I've been thinking of how to share my feelings on how I truly express what I want to express.
I realized something Sunday, it was when my two wonderful sister in-laws told me I needed to let them help me more (I was trying so hard not to break down in tears). I had been struggling with asking for help because I felt like I could just take and take and not have anything to give back (because I give and give to my calling and my own family). I didn't want to be a taker unless I could give something back. All of my time and energy goes into being a wife,a mom and a RS president. There is just no place in my life for extras or the frivolous most of the time. I give everyday until I have nothing left to give and still know there is more that needs to be given. I miss finding time to sew and work of crafts, I miss hanging out with friends, I miss having time for myself. There are days where I have been so busy, I collapse at the end of it all and wonder how I will keep going. I feel so physical and emotionally drained I wonder where I'll find the strength to carry on. But I will tell you something, I would make the same choices and choose this path again in a heart beat. I feel the load being lightening enough so I do have days where I get to blog! Days where I get to make wheat bread! Days where I get to be just a mom and wife. And I feel the Saviors love and strength. I am serving and giving as the Savior did. How could I ask for anything else? It's those moments where there is just nothing left to give is when I feel the atonement working in my life and my family's. I feel so blessed that I get to help other families who need rescuing, rather it's spiritually, financially or emotionally. I get to be the the Savior's hands and minister to his beloved children. Yes, I am overwhelmed. But, I am completely at peace and feel closer to my Savior then I ever have before.
I hope my thoughts have not been scattered and I have been able to share what I am feeling so deep inside. It's not always easy to share our deepest thoughts and feelings but I really felt like I needed to.
I am so grateful for Dan. He is AMAZING! That man comes home and helps with the kids, dinner, bedtime and clean up. Sometimes he does it all by himself and then works a couple of more hours from home after the kids are in bed because I have a meeting. He has baked a ham and made a salad for a funeral luncheon because I had a meeting all morning long. He has spent Saturdays helping me clean the house. He spends a lot of Saturday mornings and evening helping other families in our ward who are moving. He gets the kids up, fed breakfast and dressed for church by himself most Sundays. He never complains when I have a meeting, (which is several nights a week). He is amazing husband. And I am so grateful for his support and how all he wishes is for me to grow. He is everything I could want and more. And I love him for the husband, father and priesthood holder that he is.
Life is full of heartache and adversity. But there is also strength and beauty if we know where to turn.
I realized something Sunday, it was when my two wonderful sister in-laws told me I needed to let them help me more (I was trying so hard not to break down in tears). I had been struggling with asking for help because I felt like I could just take and take and not have anything to give back (because I give and give to my calling and my own family). I didn't want to be a taker unless I could give something back. All of my time and energy goes into being a wife,a mom and a RS president. There is just no place in my life for extras or the frivolous most of the time. I give everyday until I have nothing left to give and still know there is more that needs to be given. I miss finding time to sew and work of crafts, I miss hanging out with friends, I miss having time for myself. There are days where I have been so busy, I collapse at the end of it all and wonder how I will keep going. I feel so physical and emotionally drained I wonder where I'll find the strength to carry on. But I will tell you something, I would make the same choices and choose this path again in a heart beat. I feel the load being lightening enough so I do have days where I get to blog! Days where I get to make wheat bread! Days where I get to be just a mom and wife. And I feel the Saviors love and strength. I am serving and giving as the Savior did. How could I ask for anything else? It's those moments where there is just nothing left to give is when I feel the atonement working in my life and my family's. I feel so blessed that I get to help other families who need rescuing, rather it's spiritually, financially or emotionally. I get to be the the Savior's hands and minister to his beloved children. Yes, I am overwhelmed. But, I am completely at peace and feel closer to my Savior then I ever have before.
I hope my thoughts have not been scattered and I have been able to share what I am feeling so deep inside. It's not always easy to share our deepest thoughts and feelings but I really felt like I needed to.
I am so grateful for Dan. He is AMAZING! That man comes home and helps with the kids, dinner, bedtime and clean up. Sometimes he does it all by himself and then works a couple of more hours from home after the kids are in bed because I have a meeting. He has baked a ham and made a salad for a funeral luncheon because I had a meeting all morning long. He has spent Saturdays helping me clean the house. He spends a lot of Saturday mornings and evening helping other families in our ward who are moving. He gets the kids up, fed breakfast and dressed for church by himself most Sundays. He never complains when I have a meeting, (which is several nights a week). He is amazing husband. And I am so grateful for his support and how all he wishes is for me to grow. He is everything I could want and more. And I love him for the husband, father and priesthood holder that he is.
Life is full of heartache and adversity. But there is also strength and beauty if we know where to turn.
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