Thoughts

This post will probably be a bunch of miscellaneous thoughts I've been having lately. So let me start of by saying, Life is good!  The last 3 1/2 months have been scattered with emotions.  You're probably thinking it's because of my sweet baby girl, but that's not why.  All my emotional highs and lows have a lot to do with being released from my calling, ward Relief Society President.  It was so funny because while I had the calling I was so stressed and busy a lot of the time just trying to meet all the demands that were placed upon my shoulders, I just wanted a break! Once I was told I would get that break and it would be permanent, I was a mix of relief and sorrow.  It's funny because I never would have seen how hard it would have been to be released from a calling.  I was not prepared for the loneliness I would feel with out that mantle.  I wasn't prepared for just how hard it would be to see someone else take over where I had left off.  I just wasn't prepared.  So I took several months to mourn the loss as I waited for another calling.  It's so hard to go from being so completely immersed in serving and then to all of sudden not to be!  It took awhile for me to get over that desire.  Then I went through the phase where I didn't want to talk on the phone or reply to emails, which is when I made the post about being gentle.  It wasn't until my sister in-law, Becca said that it sounded like someone who had been released as Relief Society President.  I had to laugh when I realized that is what was behind all of those feelings.  I was finally happy with taking that break and needed to stop feeling guilty.  Now I'm in the phase of just enjoying  less stress and enjoying my family and I am now looking for ways to serve and help others!  I learned SO much serving in the capacity I did for those 10 months.  They were the best and the hardest 10 months of my life.
 There's a quote I read this last Sunday given by David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, that reads, "Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that matter most."
Now that I've had a heavier load, it's hard to go back.  I've decided I'm now going to fill my load with things that I was not able to do because of my calling but equally as important!  I'm going to get even more personally involved in missionary work, I was involved in many discussions and helped with fellow shipping but it was really hard to fit that and my calling in if I wanted to do anything else.  I can now be part of it but also spend more time on fellow shipping.  I am looking forward to making and strengthening friendships. I'm going to find ways to serve and visit sisters on a different level then as the RS president (I can be the one to jump at service opportunities.)  I'm going to start a food storage/self reliance group with my sister in-law, Shalyse.  We are both VERY excited about it!  I'm going to go to the temple more often.  I'm going to enjoying the evening with my family more because with both my girls starting school next week, that will be a big part of the day I will get to spend with them!  No more millions and millions of evening meetings! I want to be a more proactive visiting teacher.  I've always known how important it is but now I have an even greater understanding of how important it is. I learned SO much and it helped me to grow in so many ways.  Someday I hope to be able to share some of the really touching experiences but for now I can not. 

I'm very excited for what the future holds.  I'm also excited to get another calling that I hope I can magnify to please The Lord!  3 1/2 months is a long time to not have a calling but I know I needed it.  I needed to mourn and then be ready for the next big task He has in mind for me!  Because now I. AM. READY! ;)


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